In a conversation with a friend on my way home yesterday, I described love to her as “something … we want but … doubt as well … hard to get but still, everyone wants it.” Why is love hardest to get? In a world that is so obsessively focused on personal gain, love is all but displaced. Why? Love entails two things: losing one’s own selfish interest and sacrificing one’s self for the sake of another. No wonder why it is hard to find love these days. How can love live when all we want is what can give us and what we can give? Experiences of love is commonly sought after by people in romance and sensuality but is love really there?
Love is hardest for me to understand since I have been heartbroken for some few times. Each broken heart seemingly brings us farther and farther away from finding this love we are looking for. The question is, are we seeking it in its right place? For many, an image of a couple holding hands together invokes thoughts of love but behind that scene, little do people know the real image may really be laden with lust, hate, selfishness and self-gratification. Relationships nowadays end up in just months of being together. How can that be an image of love?
One time I was heading for a well-known mall when I passed by a poor family living in a cart. I saw the mom feeding her little children. They certainly had little food to eat and I also noticed that the mother did not eat anything. For me, that is an image of love! A mother sacrificing her comfort and her well-being for her children. No wonder we find it hard to find love because we are searching in a wrong place with wrong expectations! We are expecting to feel good, self-comfort and material gain in our search for love yet the lack of it actually makes it possible for us to find love in its truest form.
Jesus tells us his thoughts on love in John 15:12-13: “12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” The cross is a perfect image of what love can be, a love that even shuns his own life for the sake of others. We may not go as far as death in order to express our love for others but you can already see how inconvenient it is for the world to love because it has yet to learn the value of sacrifice.
No wonder why the Bible gives love the highest esteem among all virtues because it is the hardest to gain. How can we find love when it is hardest to find? Give love. The only way one can find and experience love is when one learns how to give love. Love was never meant to be a exposition of material pomp but was meant to be a simple yet confounding experience which is meant to be daily. Love was never meant to be searched but to be acted upon. We do not find love but love finds us when we least thought of it and when we most act on it.