of my blogs are characterized with short encouragements and treatises on Reformed theology and Christian living. As people may feel that I am some sort of serious loco who has nothing to think but academic and theological readings, well, you are wrong. I am just a mere human being that has a heart and feels hurt, just like everyone else. In fact this Reformed theologian here, yours truly, has been hurt too. Recovering from a recent break-up, I cannot help but feel longing inside. How do I cope up with it? There are many ways I tried, most failed, except one.
Longing for the love of a girl, that special kilig love that everyone wants, I tried taking away my attention from my ex-gf to just any purrrrrrdy girl that comes by. Of course, I am a man who appreciates beauty since they are perfect examples of God’s perfect hands in creation (an excuse for many guys but sounds fine to me). I tried my luck there but instead of seeing happiness and occasional kilig from there, I was hurt all the more. I may receive fire from some of my friends and all of my relatives for saying this but how can I deceive myself? How can I find myself in someone else’s arms if I am still in love with my ex-gf.
In retrospective, I still love that very girl that broke my heart. Its not easy to get over someone if you have given her your all, even yourself and something that you hold so precious and dear. To be honest, its not easy getting over a heartbreak. In fact the previous heartbreak to this took me four years to get over. Wow! That long? I may be characterized as a person of strong will (no pun intended) and character, I have a soft mushy spot inside my heart. In fact, though some chicken men may deny this, most guys are so too. This I know very well and true.
How did I come by all this pain and anxiety? There was an old song sang in GCF entitled “Knowing You” which talks about the love of God and how much a thankful Christian loves Him too. The song is in fact posted down here…
I will just share to you the lyrics here since it would not be as familiar of a song for the younger ones, like me and you. It is indeed old but somehow ministers to me so well at this time of hardship…
All I once held dear, built my life upon,
All this world reveres and wars to own;
All I once thought gain I have counted loss,
Spent and worthless now compared to this.
Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You
There is no greater thing.
You’re my all, You’re the best,
You’re my joy, my righteousness,
And I love You Lord.
Now my heart’s desire is to know You more,
To be found in You and know as Yours,
To possess by faith what I could not earn
All surpassing gift of righteousness
Oh to know the power of Your risen life,
And to know You in Your sufferings;
To become like You in Your death, my Lord,
So with You to live and never die.
Somehow even if people, especially those who you hold so dear, abandon you, there is an assurance from Christ that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He has promise to go by me in whatever struggles of life I might face in, may it be as serious as combating heresies to as shallow as my love life. His love prevails and never fails. All these things I put into heart and somehow God has eased the pain of it all. The pain is still there but knowing God is there to hug me just as much every time, would I search somewhere else? My way to recovery is a long and winding one but I am assured that the One Who died for me accompanies me in my path. Because of this, how can I not say…